How hard it must be to be Bryant?
Fearful and aware after viewing OJ’s fall from White Grace
I too am a Black man who has exiled my people
I too have pledged marriage to a beautiful ‘token’ of assimilation
who can do everything a wife possibly can
- except -
understand this very struggle I live
on the days when it hits really hard
This existence –
It is one you have to be in order to ‘fully’ understand
For this reason, our scales will forever be off kilter
I rot internally from the imbalance
For, I do love her…
But in this home there is no remedy or relief from this pain
Except for my blue pills
On the days, I feel the sting of knowing of whom I belong
I take a blue pill
I must always be careful not to fall
For a bed of pointed, razor-sharp spikes await below
And my People are no longer holding the net
So to quell the caged rage within that wants to be freed
I take a blue pill
Blue pills numb the thought but never the pain
I take comfort in my Family, who love me, because they know me
They have the luxury of personally knowing more than just the Brand
But my People, this luxury they do not partake of
And most could care less
This I know, for I’ve found out in certain ways
In turn, I’ve chosen to fully conform to try to fill that much needed void
And on my best behaved days…
I win!
I win my most sought after prize
My façade is a success, and I get to feel it –
that acceptance, that complete feeling,
I BELONG!
But on the days when I am force fed the red pill - I know who I am
– I am a man who is invisible to his native people and a
stepchild to my natural predator
I Must NEVER Fall!
How hard it must be to be Bryant, Wayne, Tiger, Lionel, Michael, et al.
A Jew, a white among whites, can deny that he is a Jew, declaring himself a man among men. The Black cannot deny that he is black nor claim for himself an abstract, colorless humanity; he is Black. Thus he is driven to authenticity: insulted, enslaved, he raises himself up. He picks up the word "Black" ["Negro"] that they had thrown at him like a stone, He asserts his blackness, facing the White man, with pride.~ Jean-Paul Sartre
Tara S. Gause aka Poetic Goddess Tara Shenéa
© 2007. All Rights Reserved.
2 comments:
these step children are those of us who have been brainwashed the most
no healthy group of men see their highest goal in life as being a husband to a wife of the people who enslaved you
Wow...that quote by Jean-Paul Sartre is off the mind charts with truth. It's awesome how truth can sound off like that and tickle the brain.
Awesome write sis. You know, I have often thought of this man, comedians have used his name time and again, as the black man like O.J. whom have chosen to turn in their identity to belong to mainstream humanity so to speak and pretend not to be burden with the stigmas of their people, or to be included or touched by racism, and it's so sad to me. Self denial or self loathing wether evident or hidden is never pretty. In the end they really haven't evaded what they try so hard to run from, because at the end of the day, you really can't hide who you are. You might be able to for awhile but that mirror is always just around the corner. Black really is beautiful in all its complexities and glories...sad that they don't see that when they are faced by their own mirror.
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