SECOND TIME AROUND

First there was Prince…
His love was innocent and pristine
Honey-sweet
Natural and unblemished
It was fresh and untainted with
suspicious feelings from past hurts
His edges were smooth
He fit in without trying
He wasn’t the most handsome
but he was – Beautiful
We were each others

First blushed cheek
On the way to school

First saved bus seat
First butterfly flutter
First intimate eye contact
First kiss
First that and this
His remarkable wisdom formed my need
for a man with a great mind
He moved my behind
on the dance floor
His love was the best thing
only God’s was more
He lived in the Bowen Projects
Where there was a lot of violence

and gun play around him
He was in a harsh environment

but not a part of it
but still became its victim
I remember he once said that

He would be the next Dr. King
That he would take us to the next level

And let our freedom truly ring
I believed him
And then I got the call…

~ *~ ** ~* ~

And then there was Sultan
He was so phyne
Ooooh
Dayum he was phyne…
Athletic and strong
Could go all night long
Could turn no left
Or do no wrong
Cuz he made it so right
Up until that night
But I’ll get back to that later
We met in College
He was 2nd string quarterback for the Gators
Our shared major: Communications
Although he minored in Aviation Management
Cuz, like Kanye

He said he wanted to touch the sky
Oh my
The things that man used to say
Will forever haunt me in the good and the bad ways
A magnificent mind with a 3.9 GPA
He said education was an important tool
And that learning had to become fun
Being that his Grandma worked at his High School
She had raised him and his brother after
Their Mother’s untimely demise
His intellect was jagged and sublime
He was chivalrous
Well-mannered
and knew how to pray like a Minister
He contained an inner soul that yearned for a better way
but was dominated by a carnal spirit that was sinister
I always smiled when he took his cap off at the dinner table
An educated thug, Morris Chestnut smiling Dark Gable
Our chemistry together was fluid and aged
He was so funny
everywhere he went he needed a mic and a stage
He knew how to woo a lady with a few rose petals
a poem, and a bottle of fine wine
But sometimes he would be so angry inside
He was so resilient
He never cried
His only flaw was that he was so smart but at times highly unwise
He knew his future was bright if he stayed on the bright side
But he had a habit of detouring in dark alleys and low valleys that
could only be found in the Hood
So much potential fighting with conquered good
He was a visionary
Who wanted his own star
on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood
He couldn’t hug his future though
for reaching back for past ways
My lingering love
was raised in Miami-Dade
Liberty City to be exact
And a third of him never let go
and held true to that
He was fond of the Quran which teaches:
“Let the one who is entrusted discharge his trust,
(faithfully) and let him be afraid of Allah, his Lord.
And conceal not the evidence for he,
he who hides it, surely his heart is sinful.
And Allah is All-Knower of what you do.”
I now know this to be true
We even discussed that verse together
He understood what it meant but I don’t think it really got through
And when I got the call...
just like Prince’s 5 years before
I had to sit again in that pew and ask God the heart-rending “Whys?”
that only our culture affords
I’ve heard about these type traumas Black Women share
and I’ve read about it
and even seen it on the screen
But never in my life
never in my soul
– never twice

in my wildest dreams…

Tara S. Gause aka Poetic Goddess Tara Shenéa
© 2007. All Rights Reserved.